Matthew Almeida
Blending a love for anime, music, and literature with a haunting yet playful visual style, Matthew Almeida creates art that explores vulnerability, memory, and transformation. With roots in early childhood drawings and a deep connection to poetic imagery, his work carries the emotional weight of personal experience. In this conversation, he reflect on the evolution of his style, the meaning behind his smeared portraits, and how fantasy and real life are always intertwined in his creative process.
Can you share your first memory of creating something that felt truly personal?
It’s hard to pinpoint a single work after fifteen years of making art—there are so many pieces I made in all those years that I would rather not want published nowadays, to be honest. Not that I am embarrassed by my journey, it’s just that it would mostly consist of these awkward, naïve, and unrefined early works. There is a charm to it, and I understand the appeal of gaining insight into where it all originated, but as we grow older and more experienced as an artist, I think the tendency is to estrange ourselves a bit from these works.
That said, I still love that I did all those drawings, writings, and music. They were vital and very important steps to get me to where I am today. But I treat them as my own personal treasures; little secrets that are only meant for me and those closest. There is only one poem that I think I would not mind publishing today, because it represented a real breakthrough as an artist for me. It was a surreal, avant-garde text about an Alice In Wonderland-inspired animal gathering featuring a fox as the main character. Sadly, I haven’t read it in years, because it vanished from a drawer at my mother’s place, but I remember that it was very evocative. The images still haunt my mind and every single time I visit my mother’s home I feverishly try to find it. So far, I had no luck. But that poem has become a sort of myth. I think in my mind it represents who I was as a young artist. That piece is probably in its own odd way the most personal art I managed to create back then and showed the potential that was and still is ahead of me.
What sparked your journey into visual art? Was there a defining moment or influence?
My love for animation and comics definitely lit the fuse. Without a doubt. Many of my clearest and dearest memories from early childhood revolve around cartoons I loved. For example, my love for drawing probably originated from the time my father helped me draw Lugia when we were on vacation back home in Portugal. I was 5 or 6. Or when he bought hundreds of Donald Duck comics when I was 8, and I proceeded to draw every single cover to show it to my then elementary school teacher. It’s strange to think about all this, because my personal relationship with my father was flawed and grew very complicated over the years, but I still remember those times and can’t deny how happy they made me. They were very instrumental in fostering my love for art. If I hadn’t fallen in love with animation and cartoons first, I might not have become an artist. I might possibly never have fallen in love with any other artform. At least, not as much as I did. And I most certainly would not be the same person I am today. If I am who I am today, then it’s because of the foundation that was set by those memories and the values in shows that I loved like Digimon and Sailor Moon. \
How did your style evolve into this dreamlike, almost haunted visual language?
Difficult to say. I think the reason why my style is what it is today is a combination of personal preferences and real-life experiences. And the more I think about it, the more I realize how they both nourished each other. When I was around 9 or so, I remember seeing an ad for Nightmare Before Christmas on a German kids channel called Super RTL. Next thing I know was me watching the animated Tales From The Crypt show every morning on the same channel, trying to go Trick or Treating when that wasn’t even a thing in Luxembourg, driving my mother crazy with wanting a pumpkin for Halloween, starting to read translated Poe, etc. Obviously, I adore full blown horror now as an adult, but I think it was more of this whimsy, spooky type of horror for kids that influenced how I express myself in my art. It’s playful but dark. And it lends itself so well to a sort of romanticism that I appreciate a lot as an adult. It’s very Addams Family. I think that is the most comprehensible way to put it. And it’s also therapeutic and empowering. The truth is that I went through a lot as a kid. I was bullied. I had trouble connecting with others. My family had issues. But these monsters and creepy narratives provided a powerful outlet to express my emotions and inner turmoil but also reminded me of my innate need for living life to the fullest. So, if my style is haunted and dreamlike, then maybe it’s because I understand what it feels like to be haunted while still somehow retaining the strength to dream of much more fulfilling things.
The faces in your portraits are often smeared, obscured, or fragmented. What does distortion mean to you?
I believe that the act of displaying how unrevealed one is or has been is an act that ultimately reveals. I alluded in previous questions that I had trouble connecting with others over the course of my life, and that has been true until very recently. Despite never not presenting myself as who I was, there was still a sort of distance I established between others and me. I wore masks. Those masks were performances of parts of me. Neither wholly authentic, but also never actual falsehoods. One could say that looking at me was the same as looking at the smeared, obscured faces in my drawings. It’s strange. Nowadays, I wonder what my reasons for that were. I am no longer wearing any masks these days. Someone I encountered last year was able to make them just naturally fall off my face … you know, there is a lot of emotional gravity between what is shown and what is not. Between what is said and what is not. When you see that sort of tension in a drawing with a smeared face but also with piercing eyes, you can’t help but question what it is that makes up the spirit behind it. Maybe … nowadays, I am drawing these types of faces a lot more, because I want people to experience that moment when the mask falls off. When a different human being turns to you without any hesitation, with their eyes large and kind-hearted, gently asking if there is something bothering you… It’s these little invitations to be vulnerable and open with one another. These little celebrations of human resilience and kindness, and above all, of that moment in time for me.
There’s a poetic, almost cinematic rhythm in your compositions. Are there specific visual artists, fashion designers, or filmmakers who shaped your approach?
Several! If there is anything I enjoy more than creating, it’s discovering and engaging with new art made by other people. We would be here all day, to be honest, if I had to list everything that has ever left a mark on me. And I will list some important names, but before doing that, I think I must mention that, despite creating more visual art now, I’ve primarily always been influenced by music and literature. Or to be more precise, the feelings they evoke. So many times I end up inspired to create an image because of how a note sounds in a song, or because of the rhythm of a beautiful sentence. There’s something so deeply … romantic? In that. Maybe I’m just being a poet who no longer really writes poetry, but it’s finding these little moments in life that really inspire me. The touch of someone’s fingers. The way a leaf falls in front of your feet. Some of my friends would say I am being a total Gomez Addams here again *laughs, and I am, but I also sincerely believe that that is why so many of us are compelled to create. We were moved by something authentic and raw, and shown how powerful it is to be alive, so we want to evoke that same feeling with our work.
Now to circle back to answer the question in more specific ways. I’d say the literature of Ocean Vuong (and too many others to even list); the music genre of shoegaze in general; Björk (who is the highest of all artists in my opinion); the films of Park Chan Wook and those of Wong Kar Wai; the Nier games by Yoko Taro; the anime Revue Starlight and Sound Euphonium; manga like Berserk, Vinland Saga and Vagabond; and just the general literature and films of the horror and gothic genre shaped me the most. But thankfully, the list continues to always grow and often in very unexpected ways too!
Many of your works evoke themes of vulnerability, transformation, and fantasy. What emotions or narratives are you exploring through your imagery?
I know the imagery and characters I show in my work are all surreal and otherworldly, but I am mostly compelled to create them due to natural everyday life occurrences. We tend to forget that as we live through our daily routines, but life is actually kind of weird. But also powerful. And interacting with other people is both amazing and messy. I love that. I sincerely do. I love being able to go through life and find meaning in shared interactions. I love that humans are wired—both emotionally and mentally—to find meaning and emotional truth in actions, situations, or things that probably, by all rational accounts, have none. Yet, by our own ability to create and attribute emotional resonance to things, we end up giving them actual meaning. However, that is also scary, because when you attribute meaning to something you also reveal something about your own self, and as a result, you set yourself up for others to interpret you via their own ability to attribute meaning. It puts you in a very vulnerable position. But I believe that is part of being human. Not just an artist. Because vulnerability demands maturity. And through this maturity, we can enable further personal growth. And that growth in turn is nurtured by our imagination. It’s so much easier to change what you are if you understand what you were, and if you can understand and imagine what you want to become.
I hope someone looks at, reads, or listens to something I created, and that they find the spark inside them that will light their imagination about the incredible person they can become.
Is there a recurring ritual or mindset you need to get into before making your art?
I think I am a very reactionary creator. I can only create when there are emotions inside me that need to be expressed. I’m not the type who could sit down for months and years, meticulously sketch out a single “masterpiece”. I’m not Michelangelo. Never will be. I feel more like a vessel for whatever is currently inside me. I provide the body and mind for what can only talk directly to me. I know it seems like I am treating my emotions and my own self as two separate things, but that’s not what I mean. Obviously, those emotions are me. I am just differentiating between conscious me and subconscious me. There is a lot that happens within us from day to day that we aren’t immediately aware of. That’s what makes every day seem the same, when in fact everything changes little by little. Therefore, I let the right mindset for creating art just gesture as I go about my life. I might be just walking, working out, rolling out a carpet, making food, talking to someone, falling in love, reading, doing all kinds of natural things—and yet, I am preparing myself. A lot of the work happens naturally in life. It’s the impulse behind it all—the depth to understand your life, to be fully present in everything that you do, to show up and embrace all of it—it’s all of that that lays the foundation for art. What happens on text, canvas, music sheets, etc, is also hard. But you’ll figure it out as long as you keep at it.
What’s next for you? Are you working on new projects, shows, or collaborations?
I’m working on a couple of interesting projects! I’m currently in the early stages of organizing an online workshop for which I was also asked to possibly be one of the mentors for. I’m very excited about that! I am also the curator for an exhibition in Tokyo (hopefully) later this year. It’s for the same artist friend, and I am beyond grateful that she asked me to do that for her! Really blessed in general with people asking me to collaborate. For example, I was also asked to be a part of a fashion brand project that will feature my art. That one really makes me giddy too. I have always wanted to start my own fashion brand, so this is a great way for me to see how it will feel like, while also working with some good friends. I have also been writing two books. One about the ontology of imagination, which is more academic, and one that is a fictional story that mixes Japanese and Portuguese culture elements together. I have also been thinking a lot about designing my own art toy and it’s something that I will probably tackle next year! And I’m also still working on a film project, but that is on hold for now. It’s a lot and I’m grateful about that *laughs
